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Thursday, April 7, 2011

Days 55-74 - April! Fools!

This has been the worst. My house got broken into. And not the good kind even. I leave my door unlocked. Yeah, I know, that's not like a good thing. But I post on Craigslist sometimes for like some carefree fucks and go sessions. Anyway, I thought the guy entering was a client/customer. So I just laid in my bed. Awaiting. Excited. Thrilled.

And OMG! I got held up at gun point in my own bedroom. The guy entered my room. At first I thought he was role playing. But he than got scary. I got gagged and tied up. Still thinking it was all good fun. My voice gets higher when I'm all giddy and aroused. I was like a child saying, "Lions, tigers, and bears oh my!" But when he blindfolded me and hit me up badly. I knew I was in trouble. This wasn't fun. Anymore. And I started putting up a fight, but yeah I know, too late dumb ass. Anyway, he jacked up all my shit. I'm out with nothing. I mean, he took particularly everything he could. Even my laptop. And LCD TV. I cried. I'm still crying.

What's worse, he drove off. In my car. Luckily, they found the bastard, but still. I was demoralized. I was victimized. And I didn't go out of my house or do anything for a couple of days. I was like an old maid. It was dirty. Disgusting. Depressing. Depraving. I didn't shower. Eww.

And than, I got fired on April Fools Day by my new boss. He caught me. He discovered the evidence. That I drink alcohol and pop pills on the job. He even recommended me to enter rehab. What?! the?! fuck?!

At first, I didn't believe him. I thought he was doing a good job at the April Fools thing. Before I realized he was fucking serious. That douchebag.

Now I'm jobless and practically homeless. I'm trying to find a job in this economy that can afford to pay me. Or a job that can provide a lifestyle in my price range. Its awful.

I've been getting paranoid about locking my car doors and my house. One night I woke up freaking out that I didn't lock my car up. Well I ran out of the house. To find out that my car doors were in fact locked. And realized I locked myself out. Of my house. Shit. It was fucking 40 outside. I was fucking cold out there only in my boxers. I slept on the grass. Like some homeless bum who hasn't showered in days. Or just the neighborhood drunk. In the morning, I used a neighbors phone to call a friend who has a key to my house. He made fun of me. He thought I was joking. When arrived he was laughing hysterically. I smacked the shits out him. He fucked me up. But anyway he's just a friend. If you know what I mean. What a depressing month? April's showers are fucked up. I feel like I have a rain cloud that follows me. Woe is me!

Anyway, at least the future can't be too grim LOL

2 comments:

  1. ROFL....LMAO ......This is great!

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  2. Whose this arrogant bitch leaving comments how my life is amusing? How about we exchange places?! Who would be laughing than? Huh?! I do not find this month FOR MYSELF to be in any way amusing. Here's the middle finger... fuck off LOL

    Just kidding. I absolutely adore you guys out there in cyberland. XOXO

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