Day 1 - Admit you have a problem

There are 4 things that get me through the day.

1. Starbucks coffee
2. My water bottle filled with cheap alcohol
3. Xanax
4. Facebook

I work as an office assistant (and please do not call me a secretary). Not much goes on the average day. Normally I just do absolutely nothing and get paid to sit on my ass and sound like a bitch to customers who need to pay their balance. I like my job. However, it does have its moments.

And yes, I drink on the job. I carry in my morning Starbucks with me into the office to waken me up everyday. Without my morning Joe I would be all over the place. Trust me. I would look and act rough. On my lunch break, I even purchase another round of my grande size house coffee from Starbucks. Without this essential caffeine, I would be a walking zombie. I wouldn't be able to last in the boring answering of phone calls.

Onto the water bottle. What people assume is water is not going to hurt them. Why must I reveal the true contents of my container? That's only for me to know. Again, alcohol is the only thing that's consistent in my life. The taste doesn't up and change on me.

Xanax it keeps me going like the coffee. I need to seem alive and not dead. Right? And perky is so in. Smile

Facebook. When I'm bored I'm scrolling through stalking every bloat that's worth stalking. Sometimes meeting random people on there. Smile

But speaking of problems, I am a regular at my local YMCA. I go to workout and exercise and sweat and relieve what stress I have.

However, tonight while I was at the gym there was this really cute guy checking me out. And you know when somebody is checking you out! It creates an awkward moment. Like what do you do?

Anyway, I glanced over at him. And even I couldn't stop glancing and staring and checking him out. I think I even smiled at him.

I got up and went to the water fountain and when I finished he was there next to me. He smiled and looked at me. He didn't say one word. I didn't know how to react. I mean, I'm all disgusting and sweaty and being approached. I mean, the gym isn't a bar. Are you suppose to hookup with random strangers from the gym?

That's my dilemma. That's when I realized I had a problem. And I'm thinking I made a pretty bad decision of walking away. Should I have feeled him all up?

I have a problem. And its with guys. Boys boys boys.