I made a huge mistake. And I regret it...
I left my water bottle today unattended. I almost got caught with cheap alcohol at work. I went to the bathroom for no more than like 5 minutes and when I came back I caught one of the associates trying to take a sip from the bottle. First, that's disgusting. Who does that? I do not want to share spit with employees. Anyway, that would not have been good. Close call. Reminder to self, take water bottle with you. Do not leave it unattended.
I went to the gym today. Did some soul-searching and decided it was pretty fucking stupid of myself to not feel the cute guy up. When I was working out I couldn't concentrate. I was too busy looking for him. And he was no where to be seen. It was disappointing. I decided to take a break from one of the machines to just cool off. He snuck up from behind me and said, "If you aren't using the machine move to allow somebody else to use it." I would have normally thought this rude, but he was just smiling at me. I looked at him. Smiled. And was happy to see him. But I'm not going to admit that to him. I want to keep him guessing.
We spoke. I never really talked with a guy at the gym. He was fun to work out with. And he has a very nice body to focus on. I think I was drooling over his body at one point. Fucking embarrassing.
He got up and walked towards the bathroom and stopped mid-way. Looked back to me and cocked his head toward the bathroom. Was he beckoning me on with him? No way, right?! Anyway I went to inspect. I pretended I had to use the bathroom and he waited patiently in the back.
I finished my business and he was like you're a hot guy and such. That he has a girlfriend and stuff. And I was like fucking right whatever. He acted all shy and uncomfortable in the bathroom. That should have stopped me from being all fucking aggressive to him but it didn't. I was on him like white on rice.
I can't remember the last time I gave a blowjob to a guy in the bathroom. Probably was high school maybe. I didn't swallow. For one the guy's cum tasted like shit. Don't know what that guy eats but something he consumes reeks. But otherwise I know he enjoyed the head. He blew in my mouth in matter of moments. It was like his cock was saying he hadn't had good head in a while. I'm glad his cock was fucking excited to be in my mouth. But he needs to start eating pineapple.
I walked out of the bathroom while he was still getting situated. He followed me down the stairs and out of the gym. He said that was the first time he was with a guy. That he never did anything like that before. And I actually sort of believed him but I think I came across as a bitch because I was like I don't give a shit. And I don't want anything more to do with him. I want him to walk away. I gave you head so now walk on by. You know?! But he stayed like a lost puppy. A cute one though.
He asked for my number and I was like, "what about your girlfriend?" He said he wanted to keep in touch. I don't know what I was thinking in actually giving him my digits. Should have given him 10 fake digits, but I was thinking that was mean and rude. And I wouldn't want a guy to do that to me. Right?! Do I really want to meet him up again? And he walked away by saying, "See you tomorrow night at the gym."
I really don't want to see him again. I want him to avoid me. Like nothing ever happened. For him to go on with his business like we never met. I really want to cancel my gym membership and find a new gym so we don't have to bump into each other and have one of those many awkward moments. But I like the gym I go to. Fuck me.
What was I thinking by following my gut? Nothing ever good happens. I just fuck up. I should be smart. Why do you doubt yourself when you make the right decision? And how do you always know when you made the wrong one? It makes no sense. Fuck my life.
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