So yesterday, I was super late for work. I forgot the nightly ritual of setting my alarm, which wouldn't have waken me up on time anyway. But I didn't wake up until 8:42am, when my dog whined like a little schoolgirl. He needed to go "pee-pee time." I threw something on. I didn't care that there was a stain on the shoulder. Whatever. I brushed and combed my hair and tried not to look like dweeber, Justin Bieber. Eww. Want to look my age and not like some innocent twinkie.
Arrived to work with essentials, alcohol, coffee, pills, etc. And realized that I forgot to remind my boss of his appointment. Called him freaking out. And than I had to drive there. What! And I had only 15 minutes to drive to a 45 minute place. Talk about driving reckless. I was driving into, swerving, onto, etc. I drove on the sidewalks, swerving in and out of pedestrians and cars. Lucky me, I didn't get pulled. Especially as how I was drinking and driving. My coffee was even spiked with a little Bailey's. My water was pure vodka. Geez.
Got there. And I had to do manual labor. Excuse me! Do I look like a beefy muscled guy?! No, I do not. I do not do heavy lifting. I direct. I tell. I order. I watch. I do not...do! And I sweat. And it was glistening. And it was making me look rather disgusting. I was melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.
And than I caught eye to the hot young contractor in the tight jeans, shirtless hard muscled physique, shirt wrapped around waist. Sweat dripping down from his bod.
Needless to say we exchanged numbers. He's going hit me up. But we really know what he wants LOL
On way back to office, I drove unlike my race. Asians are known for being bad drivers. And that's why we get pulled when we are only going 5 miles over the speed limit.
The cop said stuff to me like, "I'm gonna let you go with a warning, but next time I won't be so gentle with you, boy." And, "I know where you live." It was creepy. Cops should not do that or say that. Was it flirting? I don't care. It was scary.
I totally forgot about the cute cop until I got home. Precisely at 7:30pm, the cute cop knocked on my door. Dressed in civilan clothes. Threatening me to go out with him. Excuse me! That's not how to win somebody over. "I will write you a ticket if you do not go on a date with me." Ticket for what? Its my personal freedom if I want or do not want to go out with you.
I have, occasionally, stolen a few numbers from applications. But he's completely in the wrong. At least, I pretend that we exchanged numbers one night at some random bar. He is abusing his powers. Don't act all cocky, alpha male, dominant. I'm not some easy catch of the day. I'm the big fish. I'm a challenge.
But he was cute. And he is a cop. He has handcuffs. He could handcuff me. Arrest me in bed. The ideas and scenerios. Nunchunk me. Ohmygod. I'm getting aroused just with the thought of being with him.
But I spoke my fustrations and feelings to a close friend. She basically called me out for being a whore. A non-practicing prostitute. I'm more wild and more experienced than him. Thank you for calling me a whore. I'm a slut. And non-practicing prostitute means I do everything a prostitute does except receiving a payment. Thanks. I'm cheap and easy.
And I'm suppose to be seeing this divorced father with a 4 year old son. That appeals to me. All that anger and pent of sexual tension. That excites me LOL
I have a date with the cute cop tomorrow night. Not sure if I should be more excited about it. But I'm really not looking forward to it. For some reason.
What should a guy do? (That's a rhetorical question). I'm gonna follow my cock, dick, penis. Screw the heart. That's only caused heartbreaks and craziness.
I'm starting a religious sexual movement. Sexism. I am a sexist. I practice sex. Can I get an AMEN?!
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