My best girlfriend is engaged....to a younger man. He's a year older than me. My girlfriend is 4 years older than me. I'm so glad that she's so cool with being a puma. Or is she a cougar?? Dunno. But who cares really.
Anyway, she called me up last night for an emergency cocktail. And you know me, I'm always for. Only thing I wouldn't be for would be a walk in a sketch neighborhood late at night. I mean, gang bang. Hell no.
But anyway, we met at local wine bar. Ordered a bottle of wine and we dished. Rather she dished. I just listened, critiqued, and advised. I don't know why people listen to me, but it could be I'm just rather frank and blunt. Too bad I don't listen to my own advise, cause I should. My life is in shambles. I do the things that others wish they could.
Her ex of 3 years called her last night. Uh oh. He got in a major car accident and broke both of his legs in many places. I said to her. Stop. Think. And get real. Why's he calling you? You haven't spoken or heard from him since you broke up 3 years ago. He's calling you because he's basically paralyzed. He did some life searching, soul searching, had a flash of death moment and realized you were the one....the one that got away. You broke up with him cause it didn't work. You two aren't good for each other. I lived through those 3 years with you. Do you forget how awful he treated you? Do not turn back to him because he's coming crying back to you. Uh huh honey, forgive and forget. Call me blunt, but he just wants to milk the moment to get back into your pants for however long he can. Remember, you are engaged. You're just having cold feet. You're nervous about committing the rest of your life away with someone. Which I can not do at this moment. Because I'm having too much fun eating all the candy in the candy store. I'm so fabulous I need to share my self with the world, except hoarding my self to only one guy.
She was like should she go to the hospital and visit him. I'm like hell no. That's giving him hope of a chance. You need to strip the chance from him. If you give a guy a hand, he's gonna think you want his cock. With a guy, its all about the cock. Guys think with their cocks. Remember that.
She walked away thinking I just gave her bad advice, but I know I told her the shit as the way any damn person should. Yes, I might have been a little rude and rather mean, but I had to live with that guy with my girlfriend for the 3 years of her life which she can never get back. And she's not ruining her beauty. It took such a long time for me to help her with her recovery into beauty. You should have seen her. When disaster strikes, there's a bitch to clean up LOL.
Anyway, I needed more cocktails. I kissed my friend goodnight and drove off to another bar in the endless see of nightlife madness.
Don't remember what happened. Everything get's hazy after I snorted a little. Hey, it was offered. A boy never refuses free shit. He only refuses if he's just not into you. You buy me a drink, ok. You give me a car, ok. But you still won't get into my pants. And just because you have money, doesn't mean I'm gonna be with you. I might be a gold digger, but I still have class and standards.
Anyway, I woke up this Sunday with two guys in my bed. Apparently I got wild. Stop. Rewind. I forgot about the two guys asleep on the floor. What happened last night? How the fuck did I get home? And drive? And why are all these guys naked? Well at least I'm satisfied this morning. A little hungover. Nothing coffee and vodka can't fix though. Now just cleaning up the mess. That also means throwing out the guys.
Here's to a lazy Sunday. Sex, drugs and rock and roll
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